Mummers Suck

I am a hater of parades in general because I don't see the point. I have a particular displeasure with the Mummers. People bitch about the Mummers threatening to not having enough funding and that the city should pay for. A few of these people never bother to attend the parade and the cost is extreme. "As of 2008, the parade cost the city over $1 million each year, including $750,000 for police and parade services and $360,000 in prize money. The 2008 budget crisis has led the city to propose closing numerous libraries and firehouses and the scaling back of expenditures for the parade, offering $300,000 for the 2009 parade and nothing for 2010." Nothing sounds about right. The people who wan this parade to continue can pony up the money themselves, the tax payer should not be responsible. I implore parade watchers to tune into the Parade of Roses on TV for their parade fix and to watch college football. I understand the Mummers go way back, but to me its a bunch of fairies prancing around. I approve of the parade's existence so long as it does not tax the locals. If the Mummers want to continue to do what they enjoy its time to pay to play.

Earn your Dog Tags

It is all too common to find hip hop artists and wannabe kids from the suburbs wearing fake military tags around their neck. First of all, Fuck You! It's not a fashion statement, you have to earn those dog tags by fighting and risking your life for your country. Your posing as a veteran and it is offensive to those who served. The same dog tags that are taken off soldiers dead in war to give to their families are being worn by (Insert random rapper) or white suburban kid who thinks he's tough. Either earn your tags or don't wear them.

"Ain't going to be no rematch"

The prospect of a Big Ten Title game has me thinking of Michigan and Ohio State in late November. A rematch between the two teams or any rematch of any kind has me vomiting. Conference title games are rarely necessary in the present format and would likely not be necessary at all of you played every team in your conference. The last time the Big Ten had a controversy over who got the top bowl slot was in 1998 when a three way time between Michigan, Ohio State, and Wisconsin saw the Badgers go through despite not playing Ohio State and losing to Michigan. It's obviously only about money. The Big Ten apparently no longer has stones to stand apart from the pack. The conference already gates more than any other conference in the country yet they need a little more dough. Welcome to the further deteriation of college football. If the 12th team is not Notre Dame it's bad for college football.

Mob Sucks

In our culture there is a glorification of mobsters, wise guys, and made men. They are celebrating in the Godfather, Goodfellas, Scarface, and the Sopranos to name a few. I am not saying these films and show are not good, I just feel that they are celebrating and that it's cool to act like the Mafia. How many derilicks do you know that think they are tough or act Mafioso because they think its cool. The Mafia are not to be celebrated whether their Italian, Irish, Russian, or whatever. These people suck and they should be condemned.

Get Bent Charlie Strong

It's not the color of your skin that prevents you from coaching. Politics do play a role, as they do with all things in life. The Rooney rule in the NFL is a joke, along with Affirmative action. The best coaches will continue to get the chance to coach in league no matter if they are black or white. There should be no requirement to interview a minority coach. The team will hire who they feel is best able to run the program or franchise. A forced interview is insulting to minorities as well as white Americans. Players fight for positions in camp and in practice and the best man for the team wins out. The best coaches will continue to find jobs by building resumes and competing. Politics, not race should be the main focus on controversy.

I am Your Conscience: Driving

You know you have to get over. Do not play dumb and wait until the last second to change lanes. You do not have VIP access. You do not get to cut ahead in line. I will sooner physically injure you than let you in. Several people commit this act daily and cops should punish them for it in lieu of speeding tickets. This has alot to do with slowing down traffic. Please stop being a douche and wait your turn because we all have things we would rather be doing.

Blame it on the Henne?

Yeah that makes sense. Apparently, Ron Artest is so thug that he used to drink Hennesy at halftime.

http://www.sportingnews.com/nba/article/2009-12-02/sn-conversation-ron-artest-i-was-head-case

Experts Suck

The word "expert" gets thrown around alot on television and on the Internet. Apparently to qualify as an expert you need to be on a major media outlet. Either you work for ESPN on CNN. Chances are you are a talking head and you don't know dick. Do you really think Doug Gotleib is a college basketball expert at picking games. Apparently ESPN thinks he is. On their website you have to pay money to be an ESPN insider to see his "expert" picks for the ACC/Big Ten Challenge. I'll take my chances dialing 1-900 numbers and listening to voice messages for my picks.

Your Elevated Life

Why does the death of a cop grab more attention than a 42 year old business man with a a wife and two kids. Even in this perceived cold black heart, I feel bad for families that lose a loved one. However, I don't understand why the death of cop on the job is any more significant than a shooting of a general employee. Why is the life of a cop more valuable than anyone else?

Main Stream Media

You are so desperate right now. You churn out bullshit after bullshit. Ethics was never a high priority on the job, but you constantly stoop to new lows. Research is not in your vocabulary. You spit out the same regurgitated information and don't bother to process things. Deadlines and word counts are more important than writing quality stories with factual information. I have defend newspapers to an extent in their decline but I have seen the light. Blogs are more credible than newspapers and the Internet is more reliable than the New York Times. Goodbye newspapers. Fuck you main stream media! I am not listening to your bullshit.

I am Your Conscience

Please adjust your seat to its upright position... and leave it there motherfucker! Do not, under any circumstances move your seat back while in coach. If someone is sitting behind you, it is one of the most ignorant things you can do. Really your going to your seat back so far that I can't watch my DVD or that I can't enjoy a beverage aboard the friendly skies. My knees barely fit in the seat and when you move your seat back it confines my knees. How ignorant can you be?

ESS.EEE.SEE. Fans

Go head and put a gun to my face. Threaten to kill me if I don't give you money. I still want to see you play on Saturday. Go Vols!
Tennessee's Nu'Keese Richardson, Mike Edwards and Janzen Jackson have been charged in an early morning armed robbery. The man that they allegedly tried to rob had this to say.

Corey Zickefoose: I think they should still be able to play football, regardless. Tennessee is my place. You know, it's my football team.
Reporter: Even after they put a gun in your face, you say let them play football?
Corey Zickefoose: Yeah. It's Tennessee. That's the way it is sometimes.

That's the way it is sometimes in the ESS.EEE.SEE.
The store that the players were alledegly attempting to rob is owned by one of the Tennesse's largest athletic boosters. The story goes that the players were trying to rob the store with a pellet gun and one of the players was wearing Tennesee Vols gear.

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/blog/dr_saturday/post/Video-Robbery-victim-loves-Vols-more-than-law-?urn=ncaaf,202271

Suck My Yahoo

I'm not sure how many people use Yahoo but I cannot stand the articles on their main page. Generally I prefer yahoo's search engine to google's but the articles are tabloid esque. How to lose 10lbs in two weeks. TO's career over? Credit Card Mistakes You Make. I don't give a fuck. What's worse is sometimes and article that might seem interesting, such as 10 companies in bankruptcy danger are poorly conceived. The articles are meant to be attention grabbers to get quick hits. It works even on the harshest critics such as myself sometimes. Resist the urge at all costs to click on these articles but if you do please do not ingest the information. I promise you it's rubbish.

Mascots

Raise you hand if you have wanted to tear the head of a mascot? or push them down the stairs to terrify the little children? O... just me on the second one, well ok. Every single mascot sucks. They are annoying. They detract from my gameday experience. They must be stopped and have no place at big time programs. Mascots are a small marketing ploy to entertain young fans or the apathetic "fans" at sporting events. They look ridiculous and make a mockery of your school. It's time to get rid of them. Please save the gimmicks for Pro Sports.

If You Dont Love This Country

How dare you take this country for granted. The pledge of allegiance means something to me. The national anthem and God Bless America can still give me chills. Too many people are ungrateful for this country that we live. America should be embraced and not exploited.
Those who came before you struggled and suffered for their freedom. If you don't appreciate this you shall be placed on the front line and you will be my meat shield. You should be willing to serve in war. The great thing about this country is that normally your not forced to serve in war. If there is ever a draft you shall not dodge it but rather serve proudly. There is no honor in living in Canada when your neighbors are fighting. Hopefully there is never a point where we are forced into a war of epic proportions but be ready to serve if called upon.

Black Eyed Peas Suck

If you didnt know better you swear their songs were for a 7 year old kid. It's like something worse than a Jock Jams CD. Their songs are epically retarded. This would explain why its so popular or course. Do I really have to hear their music at the bar, at the club, on the radio, remixed for the Phils, and .... at college football games. Please crawl back into a hole and die Black Eyed Peas, then Id be sure to have good night.

People Without Original Thoughts Suck: TV Ratings

Haven't you heard that no one on the west coast will care about the world series? You see the perfect situation for MLB and its pocketbook is for a west coast team to play an east coast team. Apparently this will lead to everyone in between caring and huge tv ratings for MLB. Except there is one problem with this concept. IT'S BULLSHIT! The idea of what two teams are playing for a championship only matter in what two teams are playing, not what coast they are playing on. The Yankees, Lakers, Celtics, Cowboys will always sell. The Rays, Jaguars, Clippers never will. The fanbases matter and the fact that they are a major city or major franchise. Stop feeding me your bullshit media. Get an original thought. The West coast will care as much as they ever could. Remember the Dodgers could not sell out their NLCS games!

Steve Phillips Sucks at Life too.

Well he's done it again. Steve Phillips has had another affair. You already knew he sucked as a GM (Mets 1997-2003), and as an ESPN analyst, but it turns out he just sucks at life. This story is pure gold. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/affair_is_foul_for_espn_star_bLw9UoSAQJwJLU4ZDXvvDO
Make sure to read the letter, you will find yourself laughing out loud. Here's hoping that this is the nail in the coffin for Phillips.

Update: Here are pictures of the young girl. Even this blogger hasn't stooped so low. http://thebiglead.com/?p=25315

Breast Cancer Awareness

I might come off as a jerk for saying this but I think everyone is fully aware of Breast Cancer. The NFL has taken its awareness of the Cancer to a full month. Frankly I've seen enough pink on the football field. One week would be a nice little PR statement for the league, but they have taken it to the extreme. Pink cleats, pink hats, pink wristbands, pink bannerpink ribbons on helmets. It's all a bit much. This is obviously not a popular arguement to make but it distracts from my NFL viewing. When my Dad, who normally would chastise me for saying such things, brings up the issue, I'd say with great certainty that it has gone too far. It's going to continue next week, however in the future Id like to see the NFL focus on other afflictions as well or even do nothing at all.

L.A. Fans

Are you really that busy with other things that you can't support your baseball team in the postseason? You wonder why there is no NFL team in L.A. Tickets still remain for tonight's NLCS game two. This is a disgrace. Especially in a city as populated as L.A. The team deserves to lose because its fans suck.

Where U.S. Sports Fail

It's the final day of the season of the regular season and two teams are fighting for the last spot in the playoffs. It doesn't matter if this is the NFL,MLB,NHL,or NBA. These two teams are most likely playing at different times for television purposes. This is where U.S. Sports Fail. Flashback to last year, The Philadelphia Eagles are relying on a crazy scenario in the 1PM football games to be eligible to make the playoffs. The Eagles play the Cowboys at 4:15PM at home for no other reason then TV. These two teams are battling for the last playoff spot in the NFC. The last thing that had to occur for the Eagles to have their destiny in their hands was for the 4-11 Raiders to travel to Tampa Bay and beat a Buccaneers team trying to clinch a playoff spot. This game was played at 1PM and the Raiders used a huge 4th quarter to pull the upset and set up the Eagles-Cowboys showdown for a berth in the postseason. The Eagles would go on to crash the Cowboys and eventually go to the NFC Championship game. At 1PM the Eagles' playoff hopes were on Death Row, at 4:15PM the Eagles were pardoned by Al Davis. All games on the last day of the season should be played at the same time.

Last night, an epic, heart breaking moment took place and you didn't know or care about it. Imagine how exciting the last day of the season would be if we took after soccer. Honduras and Costa Rica were vying for the last guaranteed spot in the World Cup. Costa Rica needed a win or a Honduras loss or tie. Honduras need a win and a Costa Rica loss or tie. Both games started at 8PM. Costa Rica held a 2-0 in the 70th minute and despite leading 1-0 Honduras seemed destined for a playoff with a South American team to determine its World Cup fate. Flash forward, the final whistle has just blown declaring Honduras 1-0 winners and the United States are playing with 10 men in stoppage time down 2-1. The United States have drawn a corner and the divided nation of 7 million Hondurans come together to cheer on the Yanks and hope they can send them to the World Cup. With the United States surely down to their last chance to equalize, defender Jonathan Bornstein delivers with a header into the back of the net in the 95th minute. Ticket to South Africa punched for Honduras, heartbreak for Costa Rica.

The fairest thing to do for the sports on the last day of the season is to start games at the same time. Each team with something on the line would be playing with the same sense of pressure. They would be scoreboard watching during the game instead of knowing exactly what they need to do to go to the playoffs. The fans at the games would be checking scores on their cell phones and relaying information to their neighbors. There would be pure drama that could not be matched. Imagine the Raiders down 10 points in the 4th quarter needing to win for the Birds playoff hopes. The Eagles in the 4th quarter in a close game are feeling resigned to their fate and maybe just maybe are not playing with the same emotion. The crowd comes alive with each Raiders score and the Birds don't have to look up at the scoreboard they know they are still in it.

UFC Sucks

This flash in the pan company is so desperate to cement boxing. They don't realize that many people don't watch boxing anyways.PPV BUYS It's biggest problem is that it is alienating it's true fans. UFC has become mainstream and has watered down its product to get national media attention. I understand they have to make money, but if you actually spend money on one of their more than monthy PPVs how are you not disappointed. If you go back and watch the early days of UFC it took alot to end fights. Now there are many stoppages and several fights that end without a clear cut winner. Dana White, President of UFC, promotes his product as the most vicoius sport in the world. It's commonplace for him to call professional athletes in other sports and question their toughness saying they can't hack it inside the UFC Octagon.


In the recent head to head PPV battle, UFC was outdrawn 2-1 by boxing. In UFC 103 vs. Mayweather-Marquez it was boxing earning the knockout. UFC may not have produced their best card but they did have a Televison lead in, something the Mayweather fight was not privy to. The bottom line is that a big boxing match will always beat a big UFC fight. Part of the reason for this is that a boxing match might actually last a few rounds. Another reason is that boxing promotes its events with the Main event everytime, while UFC will typically true to promote a couple of fights to avoid the potential letdown.

Worst TV Announcers

I watch mostly college sports so this list will reflect that. This counts for TV announcers who regularly call games and does not include those who work primarily in Studio.

5 worst College announcers

1. Pam Ward. I'm convinced ESPN won't fire her because she is female. Although if you never saw her face, you couldn't be certain. She frequently makes mistakes such as this.
They've gotta spike the ball here!" - Pam Ward on a 4th down play HT: awfulannouncing.com
This call came when Wisconsin completed a pass in the middle of the field short of the sticks and had to rush their field goal unit onto the field with time running out in the game. Vintage Pam Ward right here. She doesn't know the situation.

She frequently displays emotion at the wrong times and fails to ever deliver a memorable call. Ward is usually in charge of the Noon ESPN2 game and you should avoid it, unless your team is playing.

“Great tackle, er, broken tackle by Charles. Gordon finally gets him in the backfield. Gain of 5 for Charles.” HT awfulannouncing.com

2. Gary Danielson- He makes mistakes often enough that I could rip him for, but I just loathe him. He is an arrogant SOB that apparently knows more than the coaches. He is puppet for CBS and the SEC and is no longer the least bit objective when it comes to evaluating other conferences. This guy also declared that Spread Offenses in football were dead last year despite 8 of the 10 top offenses in college football running a version of the Spread.
"No more playing it safe! You got to go for it here" - Gary Danielson before a 3rd and 11
Thanks Gary I'll do that.
"This is easy. They go to Hester here." - Danielson
"They would, but Hester is out west these days." - Lundquist
"Well, last year, they would have." - Danielson

3. Andre Ware- You'd swear he never played football if you did not know better. He's clearly not cut out for the job. Last year he was paired with Pam Ward creating the most neferioius broadcast team of all time. This year he is trying to destroy other football games.
"You know, if I were Maryland on first down...I would just take a shot. Because its either gonna be a passing interference, completion, or incompletion. No harm done." Andre Ware


4.Brent Musburger - Well I used to like him when I was younger. He's up doing games way past his bed time now. He doesn't seem as interested in the games anymore and he has little knowledge of the teams playing. He openly panders to team with the biggest viewing audience
"Final snap of the opening quarter it looks like, or I should correct myself, I was looking at the wrong clock." - Brent Musburger
"Look at those rear ends!"- Brent Musburger
Time to put down Old Yeller. Brad Nessler should be working Primetime.

5. Thom Brennaman- Anyone remember the overly exuberant Tim Tebow lovefest from last years title game. Well here is the major culprit. Most of you are only see him for the BCS games on Fox but I am subjected to him and his lisp on the Big Ten Network occasionally.

Thanks to awful annoucncing for the quotes.

Nova Sucks

There are two graduates in the room, how do you know which one went to Nova?

Just wait a minute....they will tell you.

Red Sox Nation

I mean no disrespect to real Boston fans who went their whole lives without a Championship and then got it and appreciated it. However, the city of Boston has become obnoxious and arrogant. The Sox and the Pats success has turned the New England area into a loathing fan base. Now that it's October, and the Red Sox are back in the postseason, get ready to gauge your eyes out.

The whole idea of a "fan nation" exists because Red Sox "fans" exist throughout the country. You know they are die hards too man. They watch all the games on TV and even have Direct TV Extra Innings Package so they never miss a pitch. They make yearly trips to Fenway and follow them when they come into their hometown. Wait! What do you mean they don't do that? They were their hats because it's fashionable and cheer for them because it's the cool thing to do.

Fan nations are ridiculous and became chic when the Red Sox were on there 2004 World Series Run. Sure some fan bases were considered fan nations before hand but the Red Sox or rather FOX popularized the term. Since the run, many fan bases have been quick to use the term nation when describing their fan bases. Nova Nation is pehaps the most annoying of these recent addition.

Most Red Sox fans suck. Bandwagon fans always suck, but the Red Sox fans that feel a level of entitlement are obnoxious. You are not the Yankees and you never will be. Living in Philadelphia, I hate New York and New Yorkers but here's to hoping they knock Red Sox Nation down one more time.

Fantasy Football Sucks

That's right I said it. Fantasy Football sucks. You know what is 100 times better? Regular football. You know rooting for your own team to win. I know it's a strange concept for all you bandwagon fans but the key is to pick 1 team and root for them to win the Super Bowl. I present to you in easy to read format why I hate Fantasy Football.

1. Where is your loyalty?
Stop me if you have heard this before from a so called Bird's fan. I hope Tony Romo throws four touchdowns today but the Eagles win. O yeah jackass, is that because you have Romo on your fantasy team or because you weekly opponent has the Birds D. It is real clear, root for your own team at all times. This is the #1 commandment of sports fandom.

2. It's everywhere.
Fantasy Football has become so popular it seems that just about every "fan" plays it. They even have multiple teams. You can't escape fantasy football from game highlights, game broadcasts, game previews, or SportsCenter. Matthew Berry, you suck. I don't care about your fantasy breakdown. I turned on SportsCenter to watch highlights, but I suppose that was my mistake. It has even found a place in the newspaper and Sports Illustrated. It is the subject of most football discussions because you want to beat Larry in accounting this week sometimes even at the expense of "your team."

3. Spawn
Fantasy Football has several offspring. Fantasy Basketball, Baseball, Hockey, NASCAR and Golf. There is also a new one, College Fantasy Football. That's right CBS Sportsline is pushing College Fantasy Football. I don't know all the details about it but I do know I can't escape its promos. Thanks for helping to ruin other sports.

I must admit I played fantasy football in mid 90s before it was real popular. Maybe that's part of the reason I played. My dad had a team and helped me formulate his team each week. It lasted maybe two seasons because he didn't enjoy it.
If you play fantasy football I hope your one of those guys that picks the whole roster of your team at least then your probably not a scab. If you do blame Fantasy Football never give yourself a reason to root against your own team and never discuss the topic in public. If you must give yourself an added incentive to watch football games not involving you team, gamble.